Inner Peace
13 Jan, 2025
@ 鴨川.
Just want to take a moment to record the moment that I felt peaceful.
I came to Kyoto these days. Honestly, I wasn't that interested in coming here because of the overtourism issue, it's not something I enjoy. But I had a Kyoto hotel coupon I needed to use before February, so here I am. Surprisingly, when I arrived on the first night, I felt pretty good. It's hard to believe it's been five years since I last visited Kyoto. Time really flies.
I usually don't plan much when I travel alone; prefer to keep things spontaneous. This morning, after finishing some personal work, I decided to take a casual stroll. Since I was staying near 清水寺, I thought about visiting it again. But on the way, I stumbled upon a small temple. I went inside and found a chair in the hall and ended up sitting there for over ten minutes, just thinking, with no noise or distractions. That moment I felt so peaceful.
Do I Really Need It?
Sometimes, I feel like I'm chasing feelings that might not even be real.
Take some examples:
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I used to be really into camping, and during that time, I kept thinking about buying a nice car. In my mind, it wasn't just about having a car—it was about showing my personality, my sense of style, or even proving I wasn't bad at making money. But the kind of car I wanted wasn't cheap. It would've cost me a year's salary, and I'd have to work really hard to afford it.
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Lately, I've been dreaming of owning a house. I imagine having spaces I've always wanted: a balcony overlooking a park with green plants, a cozy sofa, a big TV, a beautiful kitchen, and, of course, a nice coffee bar.
But then I ask myself—do I actually need these things? Or am I just chasing an idea of happiness that might not even be true? Maybe I don't know myself well enough yet. I tend to go with the flow and figure things out as I go. And big decisions like buying a house? It needs serious long-term planning. For now, I'm glad I haven't rushed into anything. I still need time to think about what's really important to me.
Finding Inner Peace
I've realized that buying something or going somewhere isn't going to solve the deeper confusion in my mind. Inner peace isn't about achieving something external—it's about being present and focusing on what's in front of me.
When I'm in this mindset, everything feels more balanced. I spend my time on things that truly matter, like being with my family, cycling/running, or focusing on job. That's when I feel peaceful.
But I'm still working on it. I've noticed sometimes I tend to spend way too much time scrolling through posts and watching videos, trying to comfort myself or feel less alone. While it helps a little, I know it's not the best way to deal with things. Instead of getting lost online, I want to focus on the things I can actually control and work on.
I'm also trying to remind myself not to overthink or push too hard. I just need to do what I can and trust that, over time, the results of my efforts will come together.
There's a song I've been listening to a lot recently, and one line from it really stuck with me:
"不慌不忙，是心之所向。"
Take things slow and steady, and follow where my heart truly wants to go.
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